How the Akatsuki Came to Be Against All Odds
by amai-amaya
Summary: Set before the formation of Akatsuki. Pein is trying to hire members and encounters some difficulties during their job interviews – first of all with his lifelong friend, Konan.


**Author's notes:**

**And another story inspired by a dear friend of mine XD Can't help it, everyone around me is so creative. Fic will be multi-chaptered and will probably get more cracky than the first chapter because Hidan is the king of hilariousness 3**

**As always a huge thanks and hugs to my beta Dark Hope Assassin, who does a wonderful job and even came up with the title for this fic . She's genius!  
**

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The room was dark except for the solitary beam of light that engulfed the future leader of Akatsuki, coming from a hole in the cave's ceiling somewhere above them

The room was dark except for the solitary beam of light that engulfed the future leader of Akatsuki, coming from a hole in the cave's ceiling somewhere above them. Konan presumed Pein wouldn't find his current position quite as intimidating and overdramatic once it began to rain and he got soaked.

"Why me, too?" Konan complained grumpily and sat down opposite to Pein, a reasonably huge table made of stone between them. She squinted at her friend, the bright light blinding her. "You've known me for _years_, you know I'm qualified to join your organization!"

"As a positive example," Pein replied curtly. "Besides, I need to know what I should expect from the other job applicants – I think you'll set the bar pretty high and I expect no less from anyone else."

"Fine," Konan agreed, leaning back in her chair and feeling slightly flattered that Pein thought so highly of her. "I'm ready whenever you are."

Pein nodded, rustling a few papers around until he finally seemed to find the one he was searching for. He was a bit tensed as this was the first time he was holding a job interview, but the presence of Konan was somewhat soothing.

Since he had spent most of his life with the blue-haired girl, he figured he could forego all the questions concerning her past and herself and skip straight to the core of this job interview.

"We'll start with word association," he informed the kunoichi. "I'll say a word and you will answer with the first thing that comes to your mind."

Konan nodded obediently and he reached for a pen and a sheet of paper to document her answers and compare them to those of the future applicants.

"Money," he prompted.

"Shopping."

Pein looked up from his paper questioningly but didn't say anything. He tried again.

"Blood."

"Cute fluffy ducklings."

"What?" Pein looked up from his papers again, frowning at his friend. She shrugged impassively.

"You said you wanted me to say the first thing that comes to mind, so I did."

"Yes, but… never mind. Let's just get this over with so I can finally start hiring members. World domination."

"Idiocy."

"What is that supposed to mean? I thought you agreed with my plans on world domination!"

Konan sighed.

"I do. I can't help it if that's what I think of first, okay? It has nothing to do with _your _world domination plans."

Grumbling, the man wrote down her answers and continued.

"Genocide."

"Cake." This earned the blue-haired woman a raised eyebrow, which she pointedly ignored.

"Hot."

"Origami."

"Milk."

"Doom."

Scratching his head, Pein stopped questioning her. None of her answers made sense at all; he had actually expected her to do better - but obviously his friend's mind just didn't work the way his did.

"That's enough for now," he said hesitantly and grabbed another sheet of paper while trying not to let Konan notice how weird her answers had been. "We'll do something else. Tell me, what do you think the name of our evil organization should be? Do you have any suggestions?"

Konan tapped her nails on the surface of the table, thinking hard if the frown on her face was any indication. Pein knew she didn't like to be rushed so he kept quiet and pretended to go through some of his papers.

"The Origamis."

A short silence followed in which Pein wondered why he had never noticed that Konan was mentally deranged.

"I was actually hoping for a name that could be associated with something more frightening and would fit for all members – not just you." He explained carefully as not to upset Konan who was looking faithfully at him, still squinting. She really didn't look all that bright doing that, he had to admit.

Sure enough, the blue-haired woman pouted at his hint.

"Well, if you already know what you want the name to be like you shouldn't have asked, Pein."

"I – Konan, stop peering at me like an imbecile!"

"Well, excuse me," the kunoichi said tartly, "I'm not the one sitting in the middle of a huge circle of light that is supposed to make me look powerful and mysterious but only succeeds in making people go blind!"

"I think I don't have any more questions. Please send in the first applicant after he has filled in this," Pein answered coolly as he held out a stack of sheets to her. He chose to ignore the other's last comment, disrespectful as it had been.

Konan huffed but stood up nonetheless and looked around, trying to find out from where she had entered the pitch black cave. With Pein hogging all the light it took her several minutes and quite a few bruises until her eyes had grown accustomed to the darkness behind her and to find the door that led to the waiting room.

After her departure Pein sighed heavily. At least this had something positive about it: There was certainly nobody who was able to make a worse impression on him now.

--

**Next up: Tobi**


End file.
